Victims of Crime Assistance League senior victims support specialist Kerrie Thompson said people who knew a woman subjected to violence often felt unsure about intervening and confused about what to say.

“But it’s really important to have the conversation that you’re concerned about them,” Ms Thompson said.

“It’s about breaking the silence. That conversation might just be the thing she needs to hear to see that someone else has recognised what’s been happening and that there is someone she can trust who will help.

“Saying ‘I’m worried about you, are you OK?’ is a good place to start ...” 

Ms Thompson said, those broaching the topic needed to be prepared for the woman to either not know how to respond, or to become defensive, and to not take her reaction personally.

“You might be the first person who has asked her about the abuse and she may be oppressed,” she said. 

“She may have been threatened with harm to her, her children, her family or pets if she speaks out. 

“Keep checking in with her, saying ‘How are you going? I’m here for you’ and let her know that when she’s ready to talk in the future you’re there to help. 

“But most importantly, when you do have that conversation, listen to her without judgement and help her know it’s not her fault.”

Ms Thompson said many women had been subjected to a complicated pattern of violent behaviour they couldn’t make sense of and were often “scratching their heads” about whether acting differently could have prevented the abuse.

She said people could give the woman telephone numbers for the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service (1800 RESPECT) and Domestic Violence Line (1800 656 463).

Visit Hunter Stadium this Saturday to stand up against violence. 

Register: mycause.com.au/events/1000people1voice