THURSDAY
I NOTE with interest a report that suggests the Wuhan Open is set to return to the international tennis circuit in October, and I'm just hoping that rugba league supremo Peter V'landy is paying attention.
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After conquering America, Saint Peter is forging ahead with his quest for global domination, and it strikes me that Wuhan is the perfect location for either a season-opening double-header, or, even better, as a base for the NRL's 18th franchise.
The Wuhan Bats certainly has a ring to it.
Obviously the city has a slightly undesirable reputation, given that it is synonymous with the outbreak of Bubonic Plague in late 2019 that left millions of traumatised Aussies locked inside their homes, with no footy on the tele and no dunny paper.
But it's time to forgive and forget.
Rugby union might be the game they play in heaven. Soccer likes to proclaim it is the beautiful game. So let's go to Wuhan and start promoting rugba league as "the game they play where nobody else dares".
Over to you, PVL.
FRIDAY
BIG Dominic Young is facing a few weeks in the naughty corner after being sent off for a high shot that provides Canterbury fullback Blake Taafe with a free trip to Disneyland.
Poor Dom. If only he'd re-signed with the Knights, he could have just stayed out on his wing scoring spectacular tries, and wouldn't have had to worry about making tackles.
Anyway, looking on the bright side, after trudging off the field with a jersey ripped straight down the middle, like the Hulk, the towering Pom can expect to be inundated with offers from Manpower Australia once his footy career is over.
And he has firmed into $1.05 favourite to win this year's Sexiest Man in League award.
SATURDAY
"THAT wasn't us out there today," has become one of the great cliches whenever a team cops a good old-fashioned pizzling.
But Tigers enforcer David Klemmer takes it to the next level when he reflects on the post-match "up yours" he directed at Eels skipper Clint Gutherson, who missed a penalty goal after full-time that would have won last week's match.
"I was pretty embarrassed about it once it all calmed down," Klemm admits. "My sons were asking me about it, all their mates at school. It was all over their iPad and YouTube.
"I was like: 'Boys, that's another person, that's not Dad'."
That "other person" sure bears an uncanny resemblance to the bloke who used to play front row for the Knights and would regularly storm off the field if they'd been beaten, without shaking the hands of any opponents.
SUNDAY
IT'S fair to say Jordan Mailata has enjoyed the last laugh.
In his younger days, he was playing for peanuts in South Sydney's lower grades.
Now the 27-year-old has re-signed with NFL franchise Philadelphia Eagles on a three-year deal worth more than $100 million.
It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it, and no doubt it beats running around for the bumbling Bunnies, who are going from bad to worse after a 34-4 spanking on home turf from the Warriors.
MONDAY
FORMER Manly nutbag John Hopoate finds himself back in the headlines for a road-rage incident, and the following paragraph grabs my attention: "More than two decades after he was suspended for inserting his finger into an opposing player's rear end, Hopoate will face court this month."
Poor old Hoppa. Will he have to spend the rest of his life as the butt of cruel jokes?
It's a bit like that bloke with the anecdotal goat. Nobody seemed to worry about his feelings or mental health, either.
TUESDAY
BEST of luck to whoever plays on the right wing for the North Sydney Bears in NSW Cup, because on Saturday he's going to be marking up against Parramatta wrecking ball Maika Sivo. And I can't imagine Sivo is going to be in a good mood, after being punted to Reggies, despite scoring two tries in Sunday's loss to the Raiders.
Let's hope his opposite number this weekend has comprehensive health insurance.
WEDNESDAY
I'VE always regarded Cameron Munster as a bit of an enigma.
And it seems that's how he sees himself as he nurses a recurring groin injury, admitting: "At times I'm going to be pretty good and sometimes I'm going to be crap."
A bit like Seven Days, perhaps?