Seven Days in League: Naked team massages? Nothing to see here

Poor Mal. It was only a few weeks ago he was being touted as a likely caretaker coach, prompting him to modestly confirm he would be interested in the role ... before JD had even been boned. Anyway it seems Big Mal's tenure at South Sydney has been even more short-lived than his political career, which lasted all of 28 seconds.

AMONG the candidates being linked to the Bunnies' vacancy is former Wallabies mentor Michael Cheika, who has a bit of a background in the 13-man code, having coached the Lebanon national team.

As Andrew Webster writes in the Sydney Morning Herald: "At what point will an NRL club take a leap of faith with Cheika?

"Will they take it at all? Let's hope so. I reckon it would be fascinating.

"He's been an agent of change at almost every club or international side he's coached, including Lebanon at the last Rugby League World Cup. He has vast knowledge of the NRL."

There have been plenty of code-hopping players over the years, but the last coach to cross the great divide was Alan Jones at Balmain back in the early 1990s.

I don't recall the "Parrot" being a raging success in Tigertown. I don't remember him lifting many trophies.

His cravat, however, always added a touch of style to the orange-and-black tracksuit, and if nothing else, he was certainly an innovator.

According to one of his former players, prop Shane O'Grady, Jones instituted compulsory nude massages for the team on Monday afternoons and patrolled the dressing room the entire time the masseurs were working on the tables.

"He was never out of that room, never," O'Grady said in a recent SMH interview.

That's what is known as attention to detail.

And while some might query such outside-the-square thinking, it strikes me as a great team-bonding exercise.

Maybe Cheika can oversee a similar revolution at Souths?

AFTER the exclusive revelation by Seven Days a few weeks ago that Matthew Lodge has undergone a Ricky Ponting-style makeover, the Manly prop fesses up in a News Corp interview.

"I've taken the tough carry and paved the way for the next generation of young bald men," Lodge admits.

"There's a very long list of high-profile people inquiring about this special service."

Lodge doesn't actually explain what his "special service" entailed. Is it a dead raccoon attached to the top of his melon, or astroturf? He is also coy about where he had the procedure done. I'm tipping it wasn't in New York.

ST George Illawarra veteran Jack Bird runs out in his 150th NRL game with his jersey specially embroidered to note the milestone.

The only problem is a spelling mistake - "Dargons" - that is spotted by an eagle-eyed fan and soon goes viral.

I'm not going to tempt fate by taking the mickey here, although plenty have. There but for the grace of God go I.

TIGERS veteran David Klemmer wears a $3000 fine - on top of his 10 minutes in the naughty corner - after raising his voice at referee Kasey Badger at the weekend.

The hammering Badger has copped after her performance has raised all manner of accusations of misogyny and sexism.

But Klemm is surely exempt from such criticism.

I mean he's been berating referees all of his career, as well as opponents, spectators and, on occasion, those blokes who run the water bottles out. It would have been sexist if he didn't give Kasey a spray.

PANTHERS centre Taylan May explains that he "got mates' rates" recently when had his surname tattooed across his throat and the word "pain" inked under his left eye.

I wonder if it was the same tattoo artist who stamped the chest of former Penrith utility Jarrod Sammut with "justify your existance" (sic) a few years back?

I NOTE with interest a snippet that reveals a punter has laid $1000 on Souths to win the comp, at odds of 200-1. Stranger things have no doubt happened, although I'm struggling to think of any at this point in time.