Mental Health | We all need someone to 'get' us

We need someone to 'get' us

We have a number of basic psychological needs, and we can spend a lifetime seeking to have those met.

A core need - and one that is central to every individual's existence - is the need to be understood.

Understanding leads to acceptance; acceptance to love; love to fulfilment.

If we feel we are not being understood we experience frustration and frustration is corrosive, damaging our confidence and our sense of worth.

In the quest for acceptance we can be led down dead-end paths by insincere individuals pursuing their own agendas. Such experiences add to the burden of the emotional and spiritual baggage we carry.

The load becomes more cumbersome and taxing with every negative experience. We can find ourselves struggling.

So we can spend what can be an inordinate amount of time looking for someone who is empathic; someone who has the capacity to understand or feel whatever it is that we are feeling from our own frame of reference; someone we can trust; someone we can love.

The cynicism with which we attempt to protect ourselves can result in us failing to recognise that special someone when our paths cross.

Past hurts can make us hyper-protective blinding us to what would otherwise be obvious.

A chance encounter can go unrecognised ... lost forever in time.

The good news is that each day brings with it fresh opportunity; another chance to either get things right or set things straight; to make amends; heal hurts; make new plans.

And it brings with it the chance to learn from our own experiences and express empathy for someone who is struggling, encouraging them to continue putting one foot in front other the other.

We are not alone and we have a responsibility to offer the assistance to others that we would expect from them.

Wellness Tip

It's important that everyone should take responsibility for their own feelings.

No other person can fully know or understand what is happening in our hearts and our heads. It's personal and so it should be.

We are what we allow ourselves to feel. We are governed by the attitudes we permit to dominate.

Positive emotion should be nurtured and encouraged.

Feelings of pleasure, happiness, satisfaction, comfort and completion help build coping and survival skills.

As far as our own feelings are concerned, knowledge is strength.

Gary Bentley is a counsellor with Rural Aid

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