And all it took was months of dogged reporting and weeks of us asking them to do it.

The word "proactive" appears 18 times in the first three pages of the report, and on council's website, (in case we were in any doubt).

But let's not get caught up in who proactivated who.

The report's findings are clear: Mr Bath is not the author of the letters attributed to Mr Neylon; the investigators asked him if he wrote them, and he said he didn't. So, case closed, I guess.

Still, I have to fill this column somehow, so, turning our attention to the other 41-and-a-half pages ...

An introductory statement published on the City's website on Wednesday notes that "minor redactions" in the report "have been included ... to protect the personal information of third parties".

These include, for example, Mr Bath's address, which he has repeatedly claimed the media published (we didn't. We didn't even name the suburb), and also the name of a particular local MP who appears throughout the investigator's interview with Lord Mayor Nuatali Nelmes.

All that we know about that mysterious MP is that, according to Cr Nelmes' record, they have been critical of the council's handling of its inland pools, and they and Local Government Minister Ron Hoenig wrote to the Lord Mayor calling for an investigation into the allegations over Mr Neylon's letters published in the Newcastle Herald.

Wonder who it could be?

Intriguingly, the report's first section notes that Mr Hoenig asked the council to investigate the letters debacle after Wallsend MP Sonia Hornery raised the Herald's reporting with him. The same section also notes that Ms Hornery had "published concerns regarding Council's management of local pools".

It's certainly a pickle - we may never know who this mystery MP is.

Surely such speculation is beyond Topics' humble investigative skill.

One of the more heartwarming revelations of the council's proactive release is the near-fraternal bonds of friendship that Messrs Bath and Neylon have kept for around 25 years.

From sharing an address on the electoral role (strictly, we're assured, so that Mr Neylon's mail can be delivered to Mr Bath for collection while he's out of the country - because, we can only assume, in a cost of living crisis every Aldi catalogue counts), to catching up once a week to talk non-confidential shop and complain about that dastardly local rag that has the audacity to write about the conduct of the highest paid public official in town.

"The strength of the relationship was such that Mr Neylon regularly stayed with Mr Bath's family at their house in [REDACTED] Newcastle," the report said.

Mr Neylon's bond with Mr Bath is so strong, in fact, that when he was appointed the City's CEO, Mr Bath said in the report, "(Mr Neylon) contacted my entire friend list on Facebook to share the news of my appointment and to encourage them to share an article in the Newcastle Herald reporting it."

"Scott has always supported my work and celebrated my career progression."

Eat your heart out, Randy Newman.

Having established that Mr Neylon - at least when it comes to admirably supporting his best friend's career progression - has the internet sensibilities of a tech-savvy boomer asking the grandkids to add them on 'the face book', the report ploughs on proactively to interrogate the 'injustice' of Mr Neylon finding his name (quelle horreur!) in newsprint.

By Mr Neylon's own admission, it takes him no more than five minutes to author one of his letters. And, all jokes aside, as a fellow struggling scribbler, that's impressive. How can anyone even think at such speeds, let alone spell their own name correctly?

(I have, on numerous occasions, misspelled the word "hospital" in a headline to my editor's endless torment. So, on this matter at least, let he who is without sin cast the first 'tsone').

Neverminding the odd typo, however, it's a truth universally acknowledged that in the philosophical colosseum of the letters page, form bows to substance. In that arena, strong opinions fly thick and fast like so many slings and arrows.

The report goes on to paraphrase the correspondent of the hour, though, saying that after firing off a missive, he "felt better about himself".

Perhaps that's what makes it all the more surprising to learn, by the same report's findings, that having mastered the Socratic dogfight, Mr Neylon was so emotionally rattled to find his letters appearing more towards the front of the paper than the middle.

"Jeremy has been a great source of comfort during the whole thing," he told investigators.

"Due to his high-profile job and the willingness of the Newcastle Herald to publish anyone who criticises him, he's used to getting attacked. But for me, I've never had to experience something like this and so I've really struggled with it. Just the injustice of it all."

Credit, though, to Mr Neylon who weathered the slings and arrows with a truly noteworthy commitment to 'transparency'.

"Mr Neylon was transparent as to his identity and, at times, used a VPN account to disguise his Japanese location to appear as if communications originated from Australia," the report (actually) says.

The council's proactive proactivity in releasing the report is undoubtedly a commendable step in the name of transparency. What we can take away from it might be questioned, but such work is for the serious journos. The findings are, in any case, public now and that's important.

If nothing else, this reporter has learnt that, while my best friend and I may not have known each other for quite so long as Messrs Bath and Neylon, mine - in all the 15-odd years I've known her - has never once told my entire Facebook friend list to read my articles. Go figure.

She lives in Preston, Victoria, by the way. I asked her if I could publish her suburb, and she said I could.